The great Terror Survey.

 

Posted 16 Jan 2003.

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Introduction to this story: Just some fun story, no deep reason or so. So have fun while reading it.

 

The great survey about terror.

Right now you are selected at random to take part into this small survey about the general attitude of the people against the War on Terror. Please print this out and send it to your local tax collector who is willing to take the results into the large database on the general public view.

Thank you for your cooperation.

 

Name (upon Credit card):____________________

Credit card nr times 17:____________________

Exp date minus two weeks:____________________

 

The above three questions must be answered but will only be used for validation purposes only and will not be placed in the big database. Please proceed with the following and circle the answer that fits best, please one answer for each question.

 

What is your gender?

A       male
B       female
C       American
D       I have a Microsoft passport

What is your age?

A       below 20 years and gender
B       below 20 years and Microsoft passport
C       above 43 years
D       non of the above  

Do you think that terror is an important part of your life?

A       yes very important
B       yes a bit important
C       no a bit important
D       I am American

Have your ever tried to get a terror free life?

A       yes but I failed time after time
B       yes I have a terror free life
C       no I have a job in a bomb factory
D       none of the above

Do you think that paying taxes is important for the production of government terror?

A       no I prefer terror from the free market
B       no free market terror is always better
C       yes without taxes we would not have governments
D       yes government terror is the best  

What is your favorite organization of terror?

A       the War on Terror
B       the evil al Qaida network
C       the global liberation movement for gender South Polians
D       the Kweb parts of the Pentagon  

Do you think the use of giant ventilators is use full in the fight against the terrorist attacks of big tornados?

A       yes it could be use full if those are Muslim tornados
B       yes I like giant ventilators at all times
C       no it is a waste of electricity
D       none of the above  

If a giant tornado would knock on your door and say to you: 'I am a Jehovah witness', what would you do?

A       call 911 and ask for a giant ventilator
B       just smash the door onto its place
C       use a big vacuum cleaner to suck all tornado air in
D       I am American  

What would Jesus do if he ever found out that Americans were willing to pay a premium of up to 75 dollar cent for crust less bread?

A       turn to the Muslim religion
B       he would multiply the bread so the baker would be out of work
C       he would expose the 11th commandment
D       I have a Microsoft passport  

What is your favorite leader in terror stuff?

A       Osama and a Microsoft passport
B       Osama without a Microsoft passport
C       Reinko and crustless bread on the South Pole
D       Defense secretary D. Rumsfeld dressed as a gladiator  

Did you ever consider supporting a terrorist organization without paying taxes?

A       no this is not appropriate where I live
B       no this is not appropriate where I not live
C       no this is not appropriate without Microsoft passport
D       yes and none of the above  

If al Qaida did start a cheap ticket airliner and if you had just won two tickets to a destination of your choice, what would you do?

A       give the tickets to the local tax collector
B       I would go to Bali because of low hotel prices
C       I would go to Australia to see the kangaroo courts
D       I would American and passport Microsoft with court kangaroos

If al Qaida did start a cheap ticket airliner and would promise a 'Real surprise flight' would you consider flying al Qaida?

A       yes why not?
B       only if the normal amount of air miles are given
C       yes but it depends on the destination
D       no I always fly with my regular Microsoft passport 

Did you ever run into some argument with your local tax collector and did you swear to bring terror right to his or her doorstep?

A       yes why not?
B       only if the normal amount of air miles are given
C       yes but it depends on the height of the doorstep
D       no I always pay taxes with court kangaroos  

Have you ever considered killing your local prosecutor?

A       yes why not?
B       yes but I never executed the execution
C       no because he or she always tells met the truth 
D       no and kangaroo court  

Did you ever receive an anthrax laced letter or do you think you will ever receive one in your lifetime?

A       yes why not?
B       yes but I prefer smallpox
C       no but I prefer smallpox
D       no why not and American

Have you ever been terrorized by local cops after you smashed 26 windows at the local courthouse?

A       yes why not?
B       yes but Microsoft passport is more worse
C       no my axe broke at window nr 25
D       no I am a local cop myself  

If the Kweb started a cheap cruise liner (with guaranteed weight loss) and if you just had won five tickets with free destination choice in a lottery, what would you do?

A       yes why not?
B       I would go with friends and take my Microsoft passport with me
C       give them all to the local prosecutors
D       give them all to the local tax collectors  

If you just found out that the War on Terror is just one big lie and if just five minutes later your mother in law comes along, would you give her the five just won tickets for the cheap cruise trip?

A       no I have a relation with her
B       no I have not a relation with her
C       yes we have a relation and she needs weight loss
D       yes without Microsoft passport in court kangaroos  

In case the combined international terrorist organizations would start a cheap air liner service under the name of 'la Bomba' while promising that they will give 'a sharply placed product in time and place', would you consider buying tickets with a premium up to 75%?

A       yes why not?
B       no why not?
C       American
D       none of the above, my mother in law is not a sister in arms

Have you ever considered starting a big riot to fuel the shortcomings of speech in general?

A       yes and USS Cole hole
B       yes and USS Cole without Microsoft passport
C       yes and Microsoft passport port
D       yes and none of the above  

If you ever found out that the USS Cole hole was in fact a Hollywood production, would you consider increasing the premium for crust less bread?

A       yes up to a full dollar extra
B       yes if false teeth are decreased in price
C       yes I would accept a price over eight dollar for a hundred gram
D       none of the above and made in China

 

Thank you for filling in this survey formulae! Please print it out and send it to your local tax collector to receive a full 100 dollars back on your income taxes!
Valid throughout 2003 but you must send it in before 20 December.

Also thank you for flying la Bomba, the airline with the most unexpected destinies. We make the world watch at prime time at prime numbers.

 

 

 

End of story.

 

 

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